What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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follow @nils_kosmo on twatter hehe

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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