Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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