A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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