What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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