Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Some people like melon and others like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man walks into a bar. No comments were said to him for everyone else was paying attention to their other peers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I regret everything.....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops