What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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A man goes to the potty.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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The queen having a shit

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops