An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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