Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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anus

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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