Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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