How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops