Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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