A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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How old are you? 7

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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