Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A black man comes home from work.

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Jesse gets so many ladies

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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