roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops