Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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How old are you? 7

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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