when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Women's Rights Movement

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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