What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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My Boyfriend

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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