What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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