What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's black and can't swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats yellow after cani...nathan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops