What does water smell like? water.

What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

69

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

One day a man walked into a wall

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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