Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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My Boyfriend

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A Mormon walks into a bar

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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