What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops