Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

thumb_up thumb_down -1

mark is life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

thumb_up thumb_down -1

;iub

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops