A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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