How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Religionh

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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No!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops