Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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