What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

What's big and long? My dick.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

A seal walks into a club.

2 + 2 = fish

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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