What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Ron Paul for President!

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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