What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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hey John will you make some copies

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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JUST KIDDING^

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops