HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

minorities.....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

who's a slut... you're mom

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kcid gib a evah uoy neht sdrawkcab siht daer nac uoy fi

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops