Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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I grunt when I poop.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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Joke

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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penis?

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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