Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

CHAD'S A FAG!!!

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

rosie o'donald goes on a diet

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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