A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Banana Hamock.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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