They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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watch a i d s left

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops