So a seal walks into a club.

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Dyslexics have more nuf!

A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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