A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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