What's a foot long and slippery A dick

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Where's my tractor?

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

This is Heading 1

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

You know what's cool? Yep.

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.