Your mother is average.

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Do you love me? No.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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69

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops