Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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This statement is false.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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