Oh my God! A talking dog!

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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