whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Pickles are moist.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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WHAT????

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops