A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

whats 1 + 1? 2

Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

69

Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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