Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops