Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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I shot a bitch.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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So I was walking down the road today

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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