why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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adam hodgson !

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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