An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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scientology.

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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