A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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