Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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