from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

sure!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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