Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops