Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Asian women drivers...

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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