how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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69

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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