A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

1

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops