- Anti Joke

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

23

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

I have an erection My mom!

EGGPLANT

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

James Patrick Campbell

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??