So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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23

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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Replacement Referees

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops