What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's funnier than 24? My life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An old lady says, "Oh i see now." The guy standing next to her says, " Honey oyu know im blind right?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops